50/50

Growing up, one of the popular topics of discussion was the description of our future spouses. Many of the adjectives often used were good-looking, rich, and smart. My expectations always bothered my audience. I wanted somebody I could boss around. Everybody always tried to convince me how unreasonable I was. Their arguments always fell on deaf ears because how could anybody else possibly know what would make me happy.
I remember having these conversations as a teenager with other students and teachers. More of the same conversations in college with friends. And more in the workplace with coworkers. The others would tell me healthy relationships are 50/50. And my response would be, "Why should we do things MY way 50% of the time, when I'm right MOST of the time?" I can't follow that logic.
What surprises me the most is that in 25 years the one thing that has remained constant is my desire for an obedient spouse.
My background in psychology tells me that this rigidity in personality can often be characterized as a disorder.
So, at 39 and single, I must ask:

Is it time for a therapist?

Or should I try online dating?

I didn't promise you...

We struggle with attendance at our drop out recovery program. Most of the students I enroll are full of enthusiasm and profess an undying commitment to completing their graduation requirements. Too often, many lose their momentum. So I thought having them sign a contract would help them stay focused. As each student signs, I remind them that they are committing to attending a minimum of 20 hours per week.
I understand losing steam after months of hard work, but we haven't even completed our 1st week!
I pull in "Lee" who has been absent 2 of the 4 days we've been in session. I inquire about his absences and remind him of his promise to attend.
"I never PROMISED you I would attend."
"You didn't? You signed a contract."
"Yeah, I signed that contract, but I didn't PROMISE you."
"What do you think a contract is?"
"I don't know, but I didn't PROMISE."

Tomorrow I'm shredding all my contracts and making my students sign promises.

Power of writing

I don't like to write. I never have. But I love to read.

But sometimes authors don't write about stuff I want to read.

Like the last book I read...great author...a real page turner...but the book had a somewhat demonic theme. I can't stand to read, hear or think about the devil. I think that topic scares me even more than cockroaches. Who would intentionally pick up a cockroach? Maybe Grissom from CSI...but I am not Grissom. So why would I bring home a book that mentions a subject I hate. Because I was in a hurry and didn't read the synopsis.

I'm a bit compulsive about reading books and once I start one, I need to finish it. I can't stand wondering how it ended. And this book had me hooked despite the mini panic attacks I would have at the end of each chapter. As I would get to a suspenseful part I would find myself putting down the book to take deep breaths to calm myself down. I'd even pray, "Please don't let the devil come out!!!" As if prayer could change the plot in any way.

However, I'm left in awe at how powerful words can be. What an extraordinary talent to be able to elicit such emotions with the written word.

Powerful writer?

Or just a weak reader?

I think it's a coin toss with me.